I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
