I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
