his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
