Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
