i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
