I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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