two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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