I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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