I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
