Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
