At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
