i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I love you. Go after that dick
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
