It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
