Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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