His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
