if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
