It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
