Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
