New invention idea: vibrating tampons
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry about my life...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
