This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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