we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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