He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
