Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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