she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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