what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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