he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
