they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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