We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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