What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize