So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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