I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
