wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
