Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
