Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
