I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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