It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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