i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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