Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
