It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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