Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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