Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
