no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I understand Curling. That high.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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