Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize