Your dad touched me again.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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