his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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