Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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