youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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