And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
