That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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