By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
