I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
