Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize