I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
