you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
