It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
