I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
