Where is the hickey?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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