His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
