I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
