Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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